This is What Love Looks Like

So, today is Valentines Day. I was planning to post the second in my series helping men learn how to the spiritual leaders of their families. Then life threw me a curveball. You see this past Sunday, some really unexpected things happened. Through that I got a really good idea of what true love looks like, and it looks a lot like my wife.

It ain’t about flowers or candy. These are common gifts often given on Valentines Day. Heck, there is currently a box of chocolates sitting on my dinning room table that my son intends to give to his girlfriend. But, that’s not love. Anybody can do that. Countless millions of dollars will be spent on candy and flowers this week. Sadly, many of those couples will not spend another Valentines Fay together. You can certainly get candy or flowers for the one you love and, if they are into that, then you should. BUT, that’s not the best way to show your love.

It ain’t about words either. In our society love has become nearly meaningless. We love pizza. We love cars. We love super hero movies. We love our kids. We love our spouses. When we use this one word to describe our feelings for so many different things, how can it possibly express how we feel for the most important person on Earth. That’s why expressing out love has to be so much more than simply saying, “I love you.” You should say it. You should say it often. I think you should never end a phone call or leave your spouse without saying it. BUT, it can’t end there.

So, what happened on Sunday? Well, it started like any other Sunday. We moved in all the equipment, set everything up, and started service. We sang some songs and I got up to preach. I felt perfectly fine during the message. But, as soon as I finished and walked off I started feeling bad. I started having some abdominal pain and nausea. I walked over and told Kim that I wasn’t feeling well. I was able to pray to end the service. But, that was about as far as I got.

Just a couple minutes later, as everyone else started tearing down, I looked at Kim and told her that I needed to sit down. I was having severe abdominal pain and nausea. I was pouring sweat and Kim told me I was very pale. She told me just to leave, to go home. I tried to protest because somebody had to drive the truck with the trailer. She firmly told me to leave and that she would take care of the trailer. Finally, I conceded and left.

This was just the beginning. As soon as she got home, I went to bed. She brought me socks for my cold feet. She drove me to the ER, insisting on taking me to the door and then parking. She stayed with me in the ER and waited while I went to surgery. She missed dinner in the process. She stayed with me in my hospital room as long as they would let her. She tried to make sure I drank something, but I was too doped to even try. I just wanted to sleep.

The next morning she got the kids off to school and then rejoined me at the hospital. She helped me up to the restroom. She kept me company and helped me reposition when needed. She helped me with my breakfast and lunch. She brought me some clean clothes and helped me get dressed. Man, it felt good to get some regular clothes on, instead of just the hospital gown with… everything hanging out. When it was time to leave she gathered up all our stuff. She walked with me as the nurse pushed me, in a wheelchair out of the hospital. She then rushed out to the car, driving it up to the sidewalk so I could get in. She helped me get in and then drove slowly home… perhaps the biggest sacrifice she made the whole time.

When we got home she, and out son, went above and beyond to make sure I had what I needed and that I was comfortable. When it became time for bed she helped me get into the bed… then to get out. This was quite an ordeal. She demonstrated great patience waiting on me to decide how I wanted to sleep, where, and then how to get out of the bed. When I decided I couldn’t sleep in the bed, Kim and our son rearranged furniture in order to allow me to sleep in the recliner in the living room.

The next day she cooked me breakfast and brought it to me. She then took the kids to school and came back to make sure I had everything I needed. She helped me shower. What a simple and great thing. And it just went on and on from there.

What’s love got to do it? You might look at all of this and think, what’s love got to do with it. Some may say she was just doing what any wife or husband would do. Sadly, we know that this is simply not true. There are a great many husbands and wives that would not take such good care of their spouse. They should, but some wouldn’t. That’s love. We have been together for nearly three decades. At times we REALLY get on each other’s nerves. Sometimes were do things that are simply unloving. But, when it comes down to it, we love each other and when I needed her, she REALLY stepped up.

Matt Norman

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