** Reviewed,  My Life

Observations From a High School Field Trip With My Son

 

8:30

The seats on this bus are closer together that I remember… because I’m certain I haven’t gotten any bigger.

8:43

This bus driver is a big fan of racing… or demolition derby.

Probably demolition derby.

9:00

These buses have air conditioning these days…

Naturally I get stuck with the one bus driver who refuses to use it.

Her mantra “Race cars don’t have air conditioning. Neither do race buses.”

9:15

Dear God, would someone please tell this bus driver that we are not in a race and this is not a race car.

And no, I didn’t just take God’s name in vain. That’s a serious prayer.

#scaredformylife

#imightpuke

9:30

If every student on the bus is talking at the same time, who’s listening?

Me, that’s who. And taking notes.

#alwayswatching

#thisshouldbeinteresting

9:45

Either this bus is equipped with heated seats or the exhaust is literally running directly through the bottom of my seat.

#isithotinhere?

10:00

Will my praying friends pray for a hedge of protection around me right now?

Or maybe an airbag of protection… and a helmet…

#thisbusdriverisgonnakillme

10:15

I’ve learned one thing… I can’t find my happy place on a school bus…

I tried.

It ain’t here.

10:30

I hope the school board used the money that they saved on bus suspension systems to buy computers or something.

Never had motion sickness, but I’m thinking about trying it.

#itslikeavibratingbed

#thatsnotagoodthing

10:45

How can my butt have so much cushion and this seat be so uncomfortable?

#ithinkitsnumbnow

11:00

Does this come in an adult size?

#imdoomed

#illneverfit

11:15

Just saw a dude standing on a paddle board fishing. If I tried that it wouldn’t be fishing it would be swimming.

#Goddidntmakemegraceful

#butHedidmakemetough

11:30

The skyline of Tampa is actually kinda nice. Except that all I can see is giant robotic aliens smashing all the buildings.

Thanks Marvel.

#Avengers

#MCU

11:45

So this is what “drive it like you stole it” feels like.

12:00

Actually I DID find my happy place on this bus.

#ilovetheocean

#deepinthought

12:15

Forget roller coasters or sky diving. This bus ride is a REAL adventure.

#prettysureimgonnadie

#Kimiloveyou

#momiloveyoutoo

#KimkissJaydenforme

12:30

An hour and 15 minutes into this field trip. Number of selfies taken in this bus…

174,893,756.2

#notevensurehowyoutakepointtwoselfies

12:45

I’m a giant nerd. I’m totally loving all this history stuff.

1:00

I only THOUGHT the bus ride was bad.

If this tour guide was any drier they’d have to give out bottles of water at the door.

1:15

Multiple cups of coffee before a 1.5 hour bus ride going to a museum with a broken bathroom was not my best laid plan.

1:30

The good news is: this tour guide is so dry he’s probably gonna dry up my bladder anyway.

1:45

All is well. I found a functioning bathroom…

And escaped the tour guide.

2:00

This trip proves that these kids are actually pretty cool.

#newrespect

2:15

The Holocaust is no joke and these kids understand that.

#newrespect

#hopeforthefuture

2:30

When you post a bunch of simple observations about life people become instant stalkers.

I guess it’s ok… it’s only Facebook.

#maybeitscauseimfunny

#theylovemetheyreallyloveme

2:45

I’m not sure who was more relieved:

Me when I found the restroom,

Or these girls when we got outside and could finally take a selfie.

#noflashphotographyplease

3:00

McDonalds is to high school field trips as Chick Fil A is to church youth trips.

3:15

Chaperoning teens is kinda like herding cats.

At least cats are cute…

And fluffy…

So fluffy…

#notacatperson

#butcatsarefluffy

#ilikefluffythings

3:30

The woman that brought Trey’s food was named Elsa.

My food better come out hot.

#thecoldDOESbotherme

#especiallymyfries

#friesbetterbehot

#itwasactuallyElza

#withaZ

3:45

If a person likes a bunch of your posts they’re a stalker.

If a bunch of people do it are they stalkers or groupies?

#askingforafriend

4:00

To those worried for my safety, this driver is doing just fine.

#itsnotyouitsme

#theymademesaythis#shesawildwoman

Matt Norman

Thanks for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. To ensure that you never miss a post subscribe using the space on the right side of the screen.

I am a Christian, husband, father, pastor, church planter, nurse, and freelance writer.

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