Earlier this week, I spoke to Husbands about how they should love their wives. You can read that post HERE. Today I want to talk to wives about respecting their husbands.
Let’s face it ladies, men are not perfect. This includes your husband. Sometimes I am lazy. When it comes to my wife and kids I tend to speak before I think. I tend to get caught up in my own projects and miss things that probably are more important. I truly don’t notice that the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes. AND the only time I think about laundry is when I am getting ready for work and don’t have a clean uniform. There are a lot of reasons NOT to respect your husband, BUT if you are a Christian woman, this is not an option.
Ephesians 5:22-24 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
I know that this is not a very popular verse these days, especially in America. Ladies, before you start to attack me, please read the entire post. This verse is not about equal rights. This is not an antifeminist post. This is simply a post about what the Bible says about how wives should behave towards their husbands. As I mentioned above, men are not perfect. If, somehow, you have married a perfect man and do not struggle at all with this verse, then you are free to go. You can stop reading right now. However, if you, like all the other women out there, have an imperfect husband, then I would ask that you continue reading.
First let me make some things clear. This verse does no say that your husband is “the boss”. It does not say that you are his slave. What is says is that you are to follow him. You see as husband and wife you are a team. Even with the best of teams, someone has to take the lead. Now, if that leader is smart he will work closely with those that follow him so that the entire team prospers. The truth is the vast majority of the time decisions need to be made jointly. BUT, there will occasionally be times when the two of you simply can’t come to an agreement. On these rare occasions, as the head of the family, it is the husbands duty to make these decisions. Is he going to make some bad decisions? Yes. Is he going to make the wrong choice sometimes? Yes. Is he going to make decisions that you would not make? I can almost guarantee it. As a Christian woman your job is to let him make these decisions and not to punish him if he makes the wrong one, or the one you don’t like. He will make bad choices, but he will learn from them and will make better decisions as he is given more opportunities.
Trust me when I say that your husband feels the pressure to lead your family. He feels the pressure to provide for your family. He feels the pressure of past mistakes and bad decisions made my himself and the family in general. With a few exceptions, your husband WANTS to lead your family and he wants to do it well. No matter how much he wants to lead your family, or how much potential he may have to do this well; he can not lead if you will not follow.
I have worked with women long enough to know what many of you are already thinking, “But you don’t know my husband.” I may not personally know all of your husbands, buy I AM a husband and I know how men think. When I spoke to husbands about loving you, I told them that it wasn’t about how you behaved or what you did. Likewise, respecting your husband is not about HIM or how HE behaves. Your job is to respect him and follow him. And don’t worry, I have some words for husbands about their role in this as well.Matt Norman
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